We are all equal (but some are better than others) – Rugby (Part 1)

I am absolutely knackered! The coach wasn't there today so the boys decided we would have to work twice as hard. Especially me, since I am the “wee one” who needs to toughen up. I am also the only girl, so you can imagine the kind of lovingly mean remarks they make on my account. Today, for example, they kept going: “Come on girl, rugby is not ballet! Push harder, push, PUSH!” (to the point that I started wondering if I was just exercising or I was actually giving birth). Of course, the moment I really started pushing hard and taking up speed, they placed themselves right in front of me and - BANG! drove straight into my wheelchair.

                                         

                                      

                                                                                                 More or less like this ;)

I have come to the conclusion that there are different kinds of tackling. There's the evil tackle, which you resort to when you are playing and you really want to make your opponents' life hard no matter what; and there is the loving tackle, which more or less corresponds to the 'like' button on Facebook. The more you like someone, the more you get in their way and try to annoy them. While this might work on the rugby field, I doubt it's a good tactic in everyday life. Do you really think you could fall madly in love with someone who crashed into your car?

Not only am I the only girl, I have also been nominated official sandwich maker for all away games. My gut reaction to this was: “This is such a sexist thing to do! If you weren't sitting I would kick your ass”. But to be honest I pity them. They don't know that I am the worst sandwich maker in history. I enjoy cooking and I am quite good at it, but don't ever ask me to make you a sandwich, especially if you want soft and slimy stuff in it – anything from lettuce to tomatoes and mozzarella. It would end up in a total mess.

If you think disabled people are sympathetic towards other human beings who happen to be in their same situation, you are wrong...Well, let's say in 90% of cases. I was lucky to meet people for whom I can say without a doubt that they belong to the remaining 10%. Even so, a conversation about sport between disabled people is sometimes worse than football bets in Italy. The one I heard the other day, when my team mates were discussing who could be the next person to enter our team, went more or less like this:

- I know whom you could ask. Do you remember Luca?

- Luca who? The one who injured himself when skiing?

- Oh no, he's fresh. I mean the other Luca, the old guard. Car accident Luca.

- Nooooo! Not him! He's a bad tetra, a high one, I think he's a C7 - much worse than you. He's also totally disfado! He hasn't moved his ass for the past 10 years. He's fat like a pig, there's no way he'd keep up with us.

- Then maybe Piero.You know, Piero the young one. He'd be a wise choice.

...And back to line 2.

You probably don't have a clue what the whole conversation is about. Don't worry, I couldn't make any sense of it either. Like any other "interest group", wheelchair users too have their own jargon. Here's a wee glossary for you:

tetra - tetraplegic. Specimen of this kind can be subdivided into two subcategories (see low and high)

para - paraplegic. Same as above.

healthy - not disabled. A word which I personally dislike very much, since I consider myself very healthy despite being in a wheelchair.

low (synonym: good) – someone whose injury resulted in a damange to the lower part of the spinal chord and who can therefore use his arms and hands without any problem. The lower the injury, the better.

high (synonym: bad) – someone whose spine was injured pretty high up, which means that the upper body is affected too (back/arms/hands).

C7, C6, C5...  – Not only do wheelchair users all know each other they also know what kind of injury everyone else suffered. These are classified according to the vertebra which has been damaged. I would advise you not to dig deeper into this - quite scary.

fresh – someone who's just had an accident or has been using a wheelchair for a short time (less than 5 years)

old guard – someone who's been in a wheelchair for a long time (15 years or more)

disfado (a complete wreck) – A wheelchair user who's not active enough. People who belong to this category are usually frowned upon by the rest.

Luckily enough, my team mates seem to think I am not lazy enough to be part of this last category (phew!). I can now go to bed happy :))

                                                                           Spéciale dédicace à the Frenchies