I am writing this in a
Word document. I will then copy paste it and post it. This is what
things are like when don't have a proper internet connection in the
age of advanced technology and general interconnectedness.
Oh yes, I almost forgot:
Happy 2014! I have to say that after the New Year frenzy filled with
good food, good friends and good fun I now feel like a heremite. I am
one of those people who will always choose socialising over studying
or working, but when I do start working and I like what I am doing I
can sit still for hours and just work, work and work. Without leaving
the house for a whole week (this is what happened to me last week. A
combination of bad weather and workaholism. Luckily a friend rescued
me and dragged me to the best pizzeria in town. Before we entered she
looked at me seriously and said: “Phew! I'm glad you look almost
normal now. When I first saw you one of your eyes was looking in one
direction and the other one was looking the other way. You really
freaked me out!”). Seeing every paragraph grow gives me a sense of
satisfaction. Placing one paragraph after another and making the
content flow perfectly gives me the feeling that everything is in the
right place, everything follows a certain logic and as long as we can
hold on to it we are going to lead happy lives.
I have always been a bit
like that. I was holpess in Maths, but things had to be logical
nonetheless. Of course this is not what happens in reality. Life is
neither a dissertation nor a translation. Things are unpredictable
and you cannot avoid surprises, be it good ones or bad ones. And this
whole thing about being isolated isn't true either. Not only I have
people around me who worry about my mental health and force me to
take breaks (thank you!). I also have a smartphone. A total disgrace.
It is constantly ringing and I never know where to look first:
Whatssapp, Facebook, Gmail, text messages, reminders, programme
updates...Multiply all that with a group of friends who are so close
to each other that they need to know everything about every
other member of the group. What you get is total chaos. Information
overload is bad for you. Especially if the kind of information you
are getting is in clear contrast with the way in which you had
imagined your next couple of weeks to be like. Being told the truth
is a good thing of course. But I'd rather be told the truth by the
person who is playing an active role in the situation and not by his
“followers” (yes, this is how friends act sometimes). Because
truth is a relative concept.
What is true for me might not be true for you. Does this make
sense at all? If it doesn't it's ok. You have just had the privilege
of getting an insight into my brain. Welcome to my crazy world, pals!
When I am sick of all
this confusing stimuli I start writing again. I write, higlight,
delete and add pieces of information. Logical ones. No room for
rubbish. And then I stop and think. While I am here being all
confused about life and holding onto imaginary order on a virtual
piece of paper, someone is in hospital fighting for their life. They,
too, got a piece of information which was in clear contrast with the
way in which they had imagined the next couple of weeks to be like.
The difference is that while they have no choice to select the
information they want, I am lucky enough to be able to do it.
Although feel that I have missed my train, deep in my heart I know
that I can always stir things in the right direction. Starting from
this very second. Justify paragraph. Post. Done. :)
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