Missing

Have you ever noticed how, no matter what you do and where you are, there's always something you miss? That's what it's like for me, anyway.

These days I miss having breakfast in the morning (not that I ever managed to have breakfast, but around 10 am my stomach clearly tells me the cappuccino I down when I get to work is definitely not enough!).

I miss having proper conversations, not just the hi-how-are-you-I-am-fine-I-have-to-go-I-am-sorry-I-will-see-you-later ones. By proper, I mean Café Brio ones, where the minimum time you spend with someone is one hour. And of course I miss having time to waste however I like.

I miss talking about languages, translations, interpreting. I miss the booth, the feeling you get when you turn on the mike, the excitement when you find the right expression in a split second, the feeling of accomplishment when you finish interpreting a difficult speech.

I miss not being the driving force of a friendship, feeling wanted and needed. It's not easy to always be the one running after people. Funnily enough, when other people run after me I don't seem to care as much as when I have to chase them. Is that human nature or am I masochistic?

I miss eating lunch slowly instead of choking on food and force-feeding myself in 20 minutes.

I lack motivation. I definitely do. I am just too tired.

I miss studying and feeling nerdy but cool because I know EVERYTHING ;) there is to know about the world around me.

I miss coming home and making dinner with T. while talking about politics, language(s) and life in general.

And yet, never before have I been able to enjoy spring and the sun so much. Never before have I been able to let things behind me the way I do now. Nor was I able to deal with a gazillion different things at once.

I've never looked forward to the summer as much, despite knowing that I will hardly go anywhere. I don't care about going to a thousand different places, actually. One place is more than enough. And that's where I'll be going.